muted

POETRY LEFT ME the day that he hurt me,

Just went. Quit. Didn’t write a note.

Kindness turned its face away, and

Simple words went too, for a while, leaving it

Impossible to describe who I had become.

I was then soundless, all the noise had gone

Which was good, in a way, but lonely too,

My mouth opening and closing for nothing and no-one.

Wordless, speechless, laughter gone, dried of all my tears.

It took a while, I remember, ages actually

And when some of the words came back

They limped about in no coherent order

Aimless and formless, not knowing

How to help me say my name.

I tried not to mind that they were few and

Those precious words I had, I used like Lego,

Brick on brick on word on word,

Plain forms, building a new language

To talk about the world, rewrite myself and

Spell out a bright new resonant name.

It is taking time, days, years, weeks, hours

But I have a little tower, now, of words, quite small

But strong. And with room for me to speak and friends to speak,

And shelter for all those who love me whom I love

And all their words and mine, and there is noise –

No, it is sound and light, and warmth and breath

And heartbeats and time, and kindness and air

And it is mine but I let you in. Welcome!

In these sounding chambers we can speak or sing

Or shout and weep. Or indeed be silent, if that is what we choose.